See, we were over, meself, Mostly Mannion an Hornpipe McGinty; we were over in Birkenhead – now it’s more than a year ago now and we had the afternoon of nothing to do an no plans so didn’t we decide to take the famous ‘Ferry Cross The Mersey’, over across to the city like, the day that was in it. The city of Liverpool.

An what were they doin’ on the boat but didn’t they have th’oul’ song blarin’ out a the bleddy speakers – ‘Ferry Cross The Mersey’ – your man singing it away like he always did, Gerry And The TickerMachines. Lovely. T’would really make you feel like you were where you were like.

An up we went walking from the, what they call, The Albert Docks – museums an coloured cows an everthin’ down around them (Hornpipe made me climb above on wan a them for a shnap) – up apasht the whole lot and the hunger an the drooth comin’ upon us. Well didn’t we see this little playsheen wit a hi-talian flag outside it and a bit of a me-n-u stuck up outside of it – the name on it above on the sign – Piccolino’s – like your man wan time – Poppa Piccolino – playin’ his concertina all over Italy. Anayways, in we go and we get the finesht bit a grub you’d ever ate. I had a bit a work to do in the evenin’ so what had I only the wan glasheen a red wine, but Mostly an Hornpipe – the latter on the pure holidays and the former, half on them, sure didn’t they tackle into the grape juice like anthin’, an not to mention hadn’t they a bottleen a beer on the ferry on the ways over. (An back)

Well we were fed like harvest frogs in the heel a the hunt but didn’t Hornpipe decide he was still hungry and what did he order for dessert? What did he order for dessert but a biteen a fish, a scallop, cut so thin you could read the Tuam Herald through it – ‘Carpaccio’ they had the name on it – an wasn’t it lovely too.

Well now, here we are a whileen down the line – bejaysus time does fly, an we’re back here in the town where The Beatles started and we go out for the walk – mesel an Mostly again, but Hornpipe is gone home so who’s in in it now but Chick-A-Dee-Do-Daw an what do we do but go lookin’ for the spot where Hornpipe had the starter for dessert and sure don’t we find it with the bleddy yoke on the i-phone, the map app as they say.

Well now, what we didn’t ate an drink the time we came for the bite a lunch with Hornpipe, we ate an drank it tonight. Fair play to them they know how to feed a lad an after off with us down the docks, we found a lovely dock pub, was it Arctic Fleet?, an then another boozer where the music was 70s an so were a lot a the clientele, but, we all thought the same thing – I think we’re after stumblin’ upon Tír Na n’Óg – The Land Of Eternal Youth – for everyone here has no self-consciousness or inhibitions about not being teenagers. What does Mostly says to me, he says – “This is the place to retire to, god bless Liverpool”